It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
