He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
