you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
