You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
