I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
