Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize