had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
