after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
