I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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