She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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