Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
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REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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