Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
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Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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