i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
