i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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