Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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