Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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