best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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