We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I look better un-naked...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
