Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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