it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
