I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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