I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
