Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
