What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
