there was a trapeze. enough said
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
