Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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