I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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