i just had sex bonerless
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
