I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
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I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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