Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.