I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself