I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself