when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.