someone threw a dead crab at me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.