So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
