Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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