my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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