so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
