you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
