erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
