Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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