Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
