did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize