i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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