just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
