I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
