I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
