Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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