I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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