you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
