Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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