I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
