Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
