I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
