My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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