Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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