i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
