You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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