Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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