U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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