YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
