Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I need help removing her.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
