Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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