I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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