its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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