I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
